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Dispatches from Birtherstan - 28-30 January 2012

In today's dispatches, John Dummett and Van Irion try to do the "We won! We won!" dance around a party that hasn't existed in 112 years. Someone gets arrested for threatening Joe Arpaio over his birther flirty games, while Dr. Orly denounces Arpaio for giving the same credibility to her subpoenas that President Obama did.

Walter Fitzpatrick marks another trip around the sun. More media fall out from the Georgia Birther Ballot Jihad hearing. Several sources note that Dr. Orly may have been just a little bit legally dishonest in Hawaii. The Southern Legal Resource Center tries to cover up the fact that one of their board of directors just happens to be a birther attorney.

Sharon Rondeau and the Pest and eFail are still Gulag Bound, and she's got some new sources about Obama that I suspect are part of a balanced breakfast. Oh, and she seems to have pissed off their hosting company, so she wants birther bucks.

We have transcripts of the Georgia Birther Ballot Jihad hearing, along with the birtherpoolza spin on the hearing (short version, "Dr. Orly is an idiot and is making the birthers look bad") And Donald Trump may throw his undead weasel into the ring.

Dispatches from Birtherstan - 23-26 January 2012

(Thanks to verbalobe for this one)

In today's dispatches, the biggest news, obviously, is the Birther Ballot Jihad hearing in Georgia. I delayed for a day due to the lead up drama on this event.

In a nutshell, Dr. Orly does some pre-hearing screeching, the attorney for the Georgia Democratic Party and Obama's campaign decides it's a freaking circus and goes "forget this.", giving the courtroom floor to the birtherstani. Carl Swensson wants his share of the birther bucks, while an article about the Georgia Birther Ballot Jihad makes the rounds of all the high-class white nationalist websites.

Sharon Rondeau whines about Democrats saying accurate things about the GOP. The inmates at "Birther Report" are throwing an entire Bandini Mountain of poo, while Dr. Orly shows the class, charm, and maturity of a spoiled brat pre-schooler.

And that was BEFORE the hearing. The actual hearing was a bowel movement in three parts, with Van Irion and Hatfield's de Vattelist nuggets plopping down before Dr. Orly's legal hershey's squirts began, followed by her attempting to seduce the media with her sexy wiles.

But that's all okay because according to Dean Haskins and Carl Swenssen, the fix is in and the judge told the birtherstani attorneys that he was going to give them everything they wanted and a pony BEFORE THE HEARING STARTED. When one considers the sources, one can assume that whatever the judge said, it wasn't quite what they claimed.

In other news, the cases that Dr. Orly were ignoring in Washington DC are coming back to haunt her. Andrew Adler goes "ooops, my bad" and resigns. The Pest and eFail is excited over the fact that one of their patriots actually CALLED a radio station! Miki Booth comes up with brand new and unexplained categories of citizenship. The State of Hawaii moves to dismiss Duncan Sunahara's case. Walter Fitzpatrick is still is jail. And an Arizona cop thinks it's really fun to post a picture of gun-touting teens with a bullet-riddled Obama shirt.

Dispatches from Birtherstan - 17-19 September 2011

In today's dispatches, the birtherstani play "monkey see, monkey do". Pat Boone plays to the birtherstani. Walter Fitzpatrick seems to have problems with dusky authority figures.

Miki Booth and Dean Haskins can't get their stories straight. Joe Arpaio continues to be the birthers Great White Hope, even when his office is giving mixed signals. John Woodman challenges Paul Irey.

Dr. Orly smoozes with Pat Boone, and spins her Hawaiian cases. Dr. Kate publically and openly calls for an unconstitutional military coup. "One Pissed-Off Vietnam Vet" does an amazing degree of paranoia.

"Raised on Hoecakes" has a message for birthers "stop it, you're giving conservatives a bad name". Joseph Farah and his porn star mustache call upon the Blessed St. Sarah Moosekiller to save us. Rick Santorum manages to seem like the sane and moderate one compared to birtherstani. Andrew Breitbart wants a shooting war. And Corsi has a message for Dr. Orly about Joe Arpaio - which really seems to be "I'll scratch your eyes out if you come near my man, you peroxided bimbo!"

Dispatches from Birtherstan - 23-25 April 2011

In today's dispatches, Lucas Smith accepts the offer from the Lakinistas to review his fake "Kenyan" birth certificate - with a few catches. Swiftboat liar Jerome Corsi's latest bookstore remainder is looking to be the next "Great White Hope" for the birthers. So far, 9 out of 16 states have said "no" to birther bills.

Manning grovels to the people who offended him. "One Pissed-off Vietnam Vet" is being both honest and upfront about his racism and his call for a military coup. The Democratic Governors Association is using birtherism as a fundraising tool. Lakin is told "No, you can't have clemency, not yours."

AP reports on the publicly-available data to show that yes, Obama was born in Hawaii. David LaRocque wants to know why he hasn't had his military coup yet. Dr. Kate once again projects like a drive-in theatre. Trump wants Indiana to revive their dead birther bill. Peter Boyles calls the hospital Obama was born in, and tries to go fishing.

"RacerJim" is a birther asshat outside of the Pest and eFail, where his statements are flailed and paddled repeatedly. The New York Times goes into birther psychology. And we have a sneak preview into what Dr. Orly is going to try and cram into ten whole minutes.

22 April - Lucas Smith donates part of the money he made off of the nude painting of Dr. Orly to the Terry Lakin defense fund.

(Scribd link here)

"As you know I've recently sold a painting, 'Orly Taitz and her Exhibits', for $350.00 After eBay fees ($34.50) and Paypal fees ($11.15) my net profit came to $304.35.

Stipulated in the comprehensive terms of sale of 'Orly Taitz and her Exhibits' I am to donate "7.5% of my net profit, from the sale, to Lieutenant Colonel Terry Lakin or designee that is authorized to accept donations on his behalf and also another 7 .5% to Orly Taitz."

This part is interesting:

"I am thrilled and delighted to accept your perspicuous 04.03.2011 offer to pay for review of Barack Hussein Obama II's 1961 Coast Province General Hospital(CPGH), British Protectorate of Kenya, British Protectorate of Kenya, Mombasa, certificate of birth (2009 certified copy), in person, by what you refer to as a 'certified document forensic investigator'."

O RLY?? Well, not without a FEW catches....

"For the record, I don't believe that a forensic document examiner can/will authenticate the birth certificate in a manner that they might typically authenticate other documents. I offer the following explanations(a thru e) in support of my foregoing opinion: "

Oh, this is going to be good.

"a. This isn't an 'old' document that can be carbon dated or dated with some sort of chemical testing procedure. "

Or, alternately, because it was provided by a known and convicted forger and con artist.

"b. A simple telephone call, email or other correspondence with the issuing hospital in Mombasa,Kenya is not going to suffice in authentication. "

Because they're going to say "Lucas who??"

"c. I don't believe that Kenyans are going to help us and if they do we will have no way of knowing they whether are being sincere or if they are just feeding us disinformation."

Translation - Lucas knows damn well that any investigation will prove his so-called birth certificate is a forgery, so he throws this out as an excuse.

d. A forensic document examiner is going to be putting his or her life LIFE ONTHE LINE (literally) if he or she deems the to be document to be authentic.

*Yawn* More "dead rabbit" claims.

e. The only way that I see this document being authenticated is through painstaking research and analysis.

Maybe you can get Polland/Polarik to do it for you.

Dispatches from Birtherstan - 23-27 December 2010

Happy holidays to my readers.

Idiocy doesn't seem to sleep or take time off for the holidays (not surprising, since the birthers seem to be doing their best to drive off their own relatives). We have Mario Poperni calling out Lakin, (which should piss the birtherstani off).

Polland/Polarik has a new video with an even more weird claim. Darren Huff wants his case dismissed. And a pony. The dictionary has a picture of Dr. Kate next to the word "Projection". Margaret Hemenway is whining about her pet Lakin being sent off to the United States Disciplinary Barracks. The Pest and eFail is still whining about Lakin as well and having their readers harass the military officers involved.

Lame Cherry continues to spout nonsense. The Pest and eFail whines that the military is following the law and Constitution rather than ignoring both to remove Obama right this very second. In the birtherstani civil war, the judge warns both Berg and Orly they're dancing the sanctions dance. New Hawaiian Governor Neil Abercrombie plans to take on the birtherstani, and the birtherstani get more immature as a result. A new way to part the birthers from their money is started. The Pest and eFail hopes that Allan West will be their next Great Dusky Hope. Neil Sankey claims not to be a nut and a conspiracy theorist, while acting like both.

Neil Turner spends Christmas calling for the United States Military to mutiny. Anti-Semitic internet outhouse Andy Martin wants to run for President in 2012. Dr. Kate complains that the media seems fixed on things like "reality" and "facts". Lucas Smith may need to be on the side of a milk carton along with Larry Sinclair. Lame Cherry continues to vomit forth word salad. And Dr. Orly comes up with "Lakin - The Musical!!"

No, Really, she has. And is paging Sir Andrew Lloyd-Webber. Baron Lloyd-Webber to help her with it.

*FACEPLANT*

The Triumph of the Narrative

Took a day to digest the results of the midterms.

Now, historically speaking, the results aren't very surprising. And for all the claims of a "enthusiasm gap" the percentages weren't very much.

What did strike me as odd as that, even as voters were electing GOP and Tea Party candidates, polls were also saying that the majority of voters didn't much LIKE the GOP, and that the policies of the Bush II administration are still seen as much of the reason for the state of the economy. If there's a message here, it's "Okay, fine, you want to try and fix it, go ahead. We still don't like or trust you."

The GOP may have a problem though. The party of no has to show they can govern now - and Clinton-era stalling and partisan witch hunts may backfire on them.

However, something that kept running though my mind yesterday was "The triumph of the narrative". All during the election cycle, the GOP candidates and Tea Party talkers kept saying things like "reduce the size of government". "cut spending". "go back to the Constitution". And "restore freedom".

What they didn't say was what any of those things mean - or how they were going to do it. They promised rainbow sparkle ponies and glitter, without mentioning how they were going to get those ponies. (And certain types in the Democratic party were pouting and staying home because THEY thought they were going to get rainbow sparkle ponies in 2008, and are upset because those ponies haven't shown up yet)

At the same time, the Tea Party types are going to want their pound of flesh as soon as possible. At the very least, they want all the bad things they believe Obama has been doing to be reversed yesterday, thank you. At the most, they want impeachment and Obama gone by the end of the year if not sooner. And you have some members of Congress (Issa, Bachmann), who have stated that the only thing the next Congress should do is investigate EVERYTHING Obama has ever done and rehash long dead and long debunked claims and conspiracy myths.

And that's not counting the GOP leadership who have openly stated that the goal of the next Congress is to make sure Obama is a single term president. Add all that together, and you know very well we're looking at a return to the Whitewater witch hunts of the 1990's, then they spent millions of taxpayers dollars looking for anything they could pin on Bill Clinton.

The reason it's the triumph of the narrative is that most of the things they believe Obama has done have been the precise opposite of what Obama has actually done. They scream "socialist", but many of his policies wouldn't have been out of place in the Reagan administration - and in any other country, "socialist" Obama would be seen as hopelessly conservative. But that's not what the narrative says. The narrative screams "death panels" and "he's raising your taxes" and "government takeover" and "he's not protecting our borders!"

But none of that is true.

Dispatches from Birtherstan - for 2 November 2010

It's election day 2010 in the United States. If you haven't voted already, get out there and vote!

As of this writing, the GOP is expected to take the House by a small (but not narrow) margin, with Democratic control of the Senate (though seats will be lost there). This is typical midterm behaviour. Of course, the birtherstani and teahaddists won't be happy unless there's a clean sweep of every single Democrat and moderate Republican, followed by immediate impeachment hearings on 3 November. Expect screams of "voter fraud" if the Democratic party retains the House and Senate. Expect screams of "voter fraud" if the GOP gets either or both by small margins. Expect screams of "voter fraud" irregardless of the results.

If the GOP does gain the House and/or Senate, they're going to have to show they can lead in ways other than being the obstructionist "Party of No". If they don't manage that - or try the Clinton era approach of constant investigations and threats of impeachment - it may well serve as a reminder in 2012 what things were like during the Bush II administration. Which can only help Obama win re-election in 2012.

It's interesting to note that Obama's midterm approval ratings are on a par with Clinton's and Reagan's at the same point in their presidency. Carter and Bush I had better ratings at their midterms - and ended up being single term Presidents. Bush II was higher, but that was a year after 9/11 which skewed the results.

As for birtherstan, we have Dr. Orly getting "honored" by the OC Weekly. Walter Fitzpatrick proves the Mark Twain quote. The Pest and eFail wants money for poor ol' Walter. And Philip Berg is trying to spin his fail.

Dispatches from Birtherstan - for 7 October 2010

Today's (slightly late dispatches) has a birther actually threatening to assassinate the President of the United States, thereby promoting him to automatic sainthood among the birtherstani. Also Dr. Kate's conspiracy mongering. Birther whining that Saint Sarah Moosekiller won't take them seriously. GOP whining that NRA is daring to endorse pro-2nd Amendment Democrats. The Poodle-Brained one piddles on the carpet of public discourse again. Looks like the Pest and eFail managed to fail their move. And another broadside in the birtherstani civil war.

3 October - One might think that "Dr. Kate" sees conspiracies in the dust bunnies under her bed.

"Are there a series of rolling false flag events scheduled for October 2010, and are they already underway? Are the forces behind Obama and the demo-socialists desperate enough to manufacture events to retain their power? If so, what are they going to do?"

To answer your questions, no, no, and it doesn't matter, you'll make something up.

"Articles on this blog and many others have described the New World Order, the network and methods of Brzezinski, how the left has risen through its foundations, think tanks, its financiers, and use of the Cloward-Piven strategy and Alinsky techniques."

Not to mention the Gnomes of Zurich, the Bavarian Illuminati, and fluoridation contaminating our precious bodily fluids.

"The recent ‘disclosure’ of Obama’s use of anti-depressants and being severely depressed (i.e., emotionally disabled and incapable of holding the office, in addition to being ineligible) accomplishes what, exactly? Sympathy? An aura of ‘normality’? A distraction?"

More like "completely made up bullshit from an utterly unreliable source"

And speaking of made up bullshit....

"Quantum Leap
Monday, October 4, 2010, at 6:29 pm
He’s on schizophrenia medicine and has been since fall of 1981.
He is clinically schizophrenic. That’s why he is always so giggly mellow except when the drugs are wearing off.
Hell, for all we know he’s prolly on a cocktail of pills."

And where did you get this information? Your breakfast cereal?? The screaming pixie inside your heating vent?? Or did you see the words written in chemtrails across the sky??

Separated at Birth??

Rielle Hunter, mistress of John Edwards

And

Dr. Orly Taitz, DDS, CFCP

The Return of Lady Lynn

From the PUMAverse, a blast from the past. The woman who called Obama an "elitist", Lynn Forester (real name, Lady Lynn Forester de Rothschild, Lady Rothschild), does a petulant "I told you so" at the Daily Beast.

And much of her rant really boils down to "why didn't you little people listen to people like me and vote for "Dear Hillary" or John McCain???"

"The failures of the Obama presidency were clearly telegraphed by the Obama candidacy"

You mean the failures that defeated Hillary Clinton in the primaries, John McCain in the general election, and has seen Obama moving forward on Clinton's pet project of healthcare. Those failures??

"I hate to say it, but I told you so."

Oh come on. You and your fellow PUMAs have been praying every night for chances to rub people's noses in the fact that they didn't pick "Dear Hillary" or John McCain.

"Back in September 2008, as a lifelong Democratic Party loyalist and activist, I backed John McCain; I told The New York Times, “I love my country more than my party.”"

"...and I had sour grapes that that uppity darkie had claimed "Dear Hillary's" rightful place Who does he think he is anyway?? Doesn't he know his place??

"But I knew it was my only choice, given the decision by the Democratic Party establishment to reject 18 million voters in favor of the inexperienced and ideological Barack Obama."

And here we see one of the oldest and most classic PUMA lies. And one that was literally one of the first I debunked The only way one can get to the 18 million claim for Hillary is by adding up the Popular Vote, PLUS the caucus estimates, including Michigan, and ignoring the uncommitted vote in that state. Then and only then do you get:

Obama - 17,869,542
Clinton - 18,046,007
Winner - Clinton +176,465

Remember, Obama wasn't on the ballot in Michigan due to that state's moving up the primaries and every Democratic challenger EXCEPT Hillary Clinton agreeing to not campaign in that state.

When you figure in the uncommitted as Obama votes, it goes to 18 million EACH: