BadFiction - a look at bad movies and worse politics

Holmes Inspection

I'm not exactly what one would call a handyman. Sure, I can do minor repairs on things, but by and large I have no knowledge or interest in anything like construction or home improvement.

Which is why it's odd I've become a fan of a Canadian show on HGTV called "Holmes Inspection"

Basic storyline is this.

1) Uber-craftsman and inspector Mike Holmes shows up at a house. Basically this is the guy that, if he was put in charge of building the Death Star, Emperor Palpatine would be reduced to a quivering mass while Mike Holmes explains all the design flaws in the design.

2) He meets the home owners, who explain the reasons why they had an el-cheapo home inspection, or no inspection at all when they bought their house. Usually a few months afterwards, they notice the green glowing ooze down the walls, and the fact that the builders used compressed oatmeal for structural materials.

3) Mike Holmes patiently explains why This Was A Very Stupid Idea on the part of the home owners. Rather than telling them exactly why they have pencil shavings for brains, he says he'll make it right, usually in tones that makes the house try and spontaneously repair itself out of sheer terror.

Dispatches from Birtherstan - 30 November 2010

In today's dispatches, we either have some punking going on with the Fantasy TIddlywinks League, or someone a few dozen french-fries short of a Happy Meal. More ranting at the Pest and eFail. Dr. Orly vomits forth her latest batch of legal spew against Berg et al. Birther fantasies of ethnic cleansing. Anderson Cooper schools the author of Texas' "birther bill". And World Nut Daily tries to give the birtherstani party line on Apuzzo's loss.

29 November - Neil Turner posted his latest call to treason at the Fantasy Tiddlywinks League website has well as at the Pest and eFail. One of my readers tipped me off to this comment...

"Quentin says:
November 29, 2010 at 10:34 am

"SILENCE is GUILT, DENIAL is LYING, and ABSENCE OF PROOF is PROOF OF ABSENCE. It is the way Dr. Manning’s court proved evidence and it is the way the new (old) republic will do it. "

FREEDOM is SLAVERY IGNORANCE is STRENGTH WAR is PEACE SHIT is SHINOLA

"NO CRIMINAL better think they will ever get away with ANYTHING, because SILENCE is GUILT and DENIAL is LYING. That is why Vice-Admiral FITZPATRICK and all his cellmates are INNOCENT and all the sheriff’s men and Grand Juries in Tennessee ARE CRIMINALS!"

"Vice-Admiral"????

"So of course in the absence of such a ruling we know what the SCOTUS WOULD rule! The ABSENCE OF A RULING is same as A RULING. And even if they did rule Obummer is valid, we would know SCOTUS was paid off or threatend too! Does the Constitution say, “Barack Hussein Soetoro Soebarkah Davis Ayres Obama III is a Natural Born Citizen”? NO IT DOES NOT, and unlike those libtards I have read the Constitution."

Did you read the Pop-Up version? Or the Bernstein Bears version??

"DISAGREEMENT is ERROR. So how do I know I am right? When someone DISAGREES. And if the rest of the country doesn’t wake up and come around soon, there are ways to persuade. The easy way or the hard way. FREEDOM of the 3% of True Patriots is worth subjugating the other 97% - FOR THEIR OWN GOOD."

"For their own good", eh??

Is someone having fun with the birtherstani?? Or is Quentin really this Stealth BatShit Insane??

Dispatches from Birtherstan - for 17 September 2010

In today's dispatches, fear and racism from The Pest and eFail. More "I don't care what the law says, this is how I want it to say!" from Leonard Daneman. Lucas Smith haz a blog. Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert haz a rally, and Dr. Orly wants to media whore herself into it.

But the most interesting (IMHO) is the affidavit that Berg submitted to the courts from Lisa Liberi's mother as part of the ongoing birtherstan civil war. To say she doesn't like Dr. Orly might be an understatement - and if certain aspects of it are true, Dr. Orly is even more loathsome and wretched an excuse for a human being than I thought. There are some levels a reasonable human being won't stoop to. And if this is accurate, Dr. Orly SWIMS it those levels.

15 September - More fear-mongering and racism from the Pest and eFail.

"Each and every day, The Obama is working to collapse more of this country’s Republic, while saying he is “saving” it. Does this remind anyone of Taqiyya–the Islamic practice of routinely lying to “infidels?” Note: He may not be a Muslim, but he seems to use some of their methods quite well."

Oh, and some interesting spin on the upcoming general election.

"Please remember in November that election fraud will be at its highest in US history to date. Remember in November that the ObamaThugs will be out in force to intimidate non-Democrat voters. Remember in November that all Marxists (Democrats AND RINOs) and anti-US Republic candidates are on their way out. Remember in November that We-the-People MUST turn out to vote in numbers never before seen in our country. But, most of all, remember on 2 November 2010 that this is the date We-the-People begin to take back our country."

So basically the party line is that if the GOP wins the House and/or the Senate, it's the "will of the people". If they fail to win either or both, it's election fraud by "ObamaThugs".

Nice. They've already explained away any possibility of loss as Yet Another Conspiracy. And to add fuel to THAT fire...

"mganzi says:
Thursday, September 16, 2010 at 10:14 AM
From another poster (paraphrased) “On November 2, the flicks of levers in our voting booths if honestly counted will set us back on course. If these votes are negated by the likes of ACORN, Black Panthers and/or Executive fiat, the next lever flicks to be heard will probably be from handheld pieces. Either works for me.”

So basically "we BETTER win the election OR ELSE" ??? My, how completely undemocratic and against the principles this country was founded on.

Dispatches from Birtherstan - for 1 September 2010

In today's dispatches, we have the Pest and eFail getting all moist about Beckapoolza, though still with some grumpy that Glenn Beck won't drink the birther kool-aid. Dr. Orly's performance on "Midnight Politics" is rated as "F" for "failure". The Poodle-brained one is still yapping her little racist head off. Dr. Orly still can't figure out Facebook - or freedom of speech for that matter. Lakin gets a support affidavit from a Fox News propagandist with a history of right-wing lying and anti-Islamic commentary. Miki Booth goes into conspiracy land and gives mixed signals about her support for Birtherpoolza. The Pest and eFail shows they know how to lie. Again. And Dr. Orly can't seem to understand that the majority of people simply don't believe her.

NOTE: The site "Politijab" is down due to (or so I understand) SQL issues with the forum.

We can take the Dr. Orly approach and assume that nefarious forces bent on silencing the truth hacked into the server.

Or, is more likely, we can assume the server is having issues, Justin and Foggy are doing work ...on it.

Or Foggy broke it, one of the two :-)

30 August - The Pest and eFail wiggles around and piddles on the rug over Glenn Beck's shindig last weekend.

"The event started with the Pledge of Allegiance immediately followed by the National Anthem. Say what you want, but close to a million voices raised over the Washington Mall singing the National Anthem moves your soul!"

There were around 83,000 people there. Less than 10% of a million. Not even close to "a million".

"At one point, three or four agents provocateurs in their 20s appeared on our left carrying racist and insulting signs. They were mainly ignored and easily spotted as everybody else had obeyed the no-sign policy. Irrelevant overall."

Don't you love the way she tries and pretend that the racists in her crowd aren't "really" part of her crowd, oh no? They just *have* to be outside influences sent to make them all look bad.

It's amazing the sheer inability for the Tea Party folks to take responsibility for their own actions.

"Overall, considering the tens of thousands leaving early and coming late, we might have approached 1,000,000 attendees"

Doubtful. And why were people leaving early, eh?

"As I said, I did not hear the event that well, and I could not see it."

Which didn't stop you from having an opinion on it it seems.

And in comments:

"Vic Hern says:
Tuesday, August 31, 2010 at 8:16 AM
Events transpiring point to provacative attempts to stir WE THE PEOPLE into actions leading to martial law before November.

We need to spur actions of our own to get politicians, judges and our military to re-label Mr Hope and Change with Mr Hoax in Chains."

Charming.

Dispatches from Birtherstan - for 30 March 2010

In today's dispatches, we have an new military officer in violation of the UCMJ by publically going birther. The bloom is off the rose between CEL3 and Lucas Smith. Dr. Orly gets fawned over by the UK Independent. Obama discusses the Tea Partiers, Off-Shore Jobs Campbell is rehashing old scary stories, LaRouche is warning about assassination, and Lame Cherry needs a better quality of tinfoil.

29 March - Well now, is the bloom off the rose that was the friendship between convicted forger Lucas Smith and disbarred felon Charles E. Lincoln, III??

(Scribd link here)

"I no longer, at least for the most part, work with Charles Edward Lincoln, III.

There are a few reasons why I have decided to part ways with Mr. Lincoln. One of those reasons was specifically because of his not honoring promises and commitments that he made to you (Requeal).

You appear to be an honest and hard working person, e.g., you work, attend college classes and as far as I know you have always paid the Sterling HOA and/or Team America even though, in fact, they probably never had the right to collect any monies from you. In any case, you still paid them $700.00 every month which is commendable.

If Charles does continue to fight for the condo which you are living in (#5103) then there should be no problems such as the bank successfully evicting you or the Sterling HOA successfully evicting you."

Agreed, if CEL3 continues, there should be no problems with the bank or HOA successfully evicting her.

He then includes this email from a "Melissa Shepherd" to CEL3

"I DO NOT TALK About sex. I made one comment that in reality would BE OBVIOUS that this is NOT what I am after. What I said was it was good to see three men sitting around my dining room that were helping me without some sort of agenda. THIS IS NOT A mixed signal. This is a statement of relief that WOW there are some gentlemen in the world not going to take advantage of someone they are helping out. When in reality, as you and Peyton so politely told me that it is even exchange for having possession of the unit. Or does your memory fail you?"

Purity of Essense

(crossposted to Bad Fiction)

In "Dr. Strangelove,", Gen. Jack D. Ripper frets about the "loss of essence" caused by floridation of water. Well, according to Brian Kilmeade of Fox News, the problem is less floridation of water and more that Americans "keep marrying other species".

"KILMEADE: Different. Leave it to the Finns and Swedes to some up with something. They literally --

CARLSON: Don't look at me, pal.

KILMEADE: Because that's a -- we are -- we're -- we're a -- we're -- we keep marrying other species and other ethnics and other --

KILMEADE: I mean, the Swedes --

CARLSON: -- causes of dementia right now?

BRIGGS: What are you getting at?

KILMEADE: See, the problem is, the Swedes have pure genes.

BRIGGS: OK.

KILMEADE: Because they marry other Swedes. Because that's the rule. Finland -- Finns marry other Finns, so they have a pure society. In America, we marry everybody.

BRIGGS: OK.

KILMEADE: So, we'll marry Italians and Irish.

BRIGGS: So, this study does not apply?

KILMEADE: Does not apply to us."

Other species, eh?? Wow, the stupid is strong with this one.